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Socializing and Dating Family rules and expectations can become complicated when teens visit each other's homes.As discussed, every family has their own values and beliefs, and their own rules that reflect these values and beliefs.Then, at the soonest opportunity the youth should discuss the conflicting rules with their own parents.Adolescents also begin dating during this time, and may begin to form romantic/sexual relationships.Furthermore, youth should clearly understand what the consequences are for illicit drug use (including alcohol), such as the loss of driving privileges, and establish clear guidelines about what should be done if they are with friends who are using alcohol and other drugs.It is important that parents make it clear, that not only do they expect their own children to refrain from alcohol or other drug use, but youth are expected to avoid being with friends while those friends are using alcohol or other drugs.
At a minimum parents should clearly establish and communicate their expectations about driving and the use of a car.
However, these two sets of rules may conflict with each other (i.e., one set of rules is more strict or more lenient than the other) leaving teens to judge which set of rules should apply.
Teens should be instructed to follow the more strict set of rules when they are in doubt.
For example, if Johnny's mom doesn't want Johnny hanging out at a friend's house without adult supervision, Johnny's mom can discuss this with Ken's mom and inquire whether there will be an adult present during the time the two boys are planning to visit.
If Ken's mother reports she doesn't share that belief or that she can't be home when the guys want to socialize, Johnny's mom may ask that the boys visit at her home instead (with her supervision) for the afternoon or the boys may need to reschedule their visit to coincide with a time when Ken's mom is expected to be home.
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Nevertheless, parents need to establish clear guidelines that enable their youth to make wise choices.